Saying Goodbye Just in case

These Are Not Angels.

If I come up missing...

They are following Allan. i haven't seen them outside my house but I have not opened my windows in days.

I don't know why I have pissed off Dubai with my blog but I did.

LA promotes Aiding and abetting Illegals!

About a year or so ago I was listening to a radio show (John and Ken) yes that's a plug. They were talking about a ordinance being passed to provide shelter for illegal day laborers! yes you heard right. Here is a snippet of the article in the paper.
LOS ANGELES -- Companies that open large home-improvement stores in Los Angeles would have to set aside space for day laborers under an ordinance unanimously approved today by a City Council committee. The proposed ordinance was passed by the Planning and Land Use Management Committee, but must still be approved by the full council.

If passed, the ordinance would require new home improvement stores that are 100,000 square feet or larger, or any building or structure where 250,000 square feet or more of warehouse floor area is added, to set aside space for day laborers seeking employment from customers.The shelters would have to be easily accessible and equipped with drinking water, bathrooms, tables with seating and trash facilities.
Home-improvement stores would also be required to develop a security plan in consultation with the Los Angeles Police Department.
I was outraged at the time in total freaking disbelief. What? No showers? No Cable TV. I am pissed that we are treating these Law breakers like second class citizens! (insert sarcasm here) Isn't it illegal to day labor? Since they are not paying taxes, Workmans Comp, etc.? If a LEGAL was to do this they would be ticketed for loitering. (especially in Laguna beach Ya you asshole cop! but thats another story) But when illegals do it we welcome it!
No wonder why the state of California is such a damn Mess! I think it's time to get rid of Villaraigosa and Schwarzanegger!!! So yesterday Alex and I are leaving Laguna Beach and Driving over Laguna Cyn. We see some Illegals at the side of the road and we make a comment so i told him of the story of providing them shelter. I think he thought I was making it up. So we are in traffic and up on the left side is some nice benches, covered, it looked like an entrance to a wilderness hiking area. There stood about 20 illegals. I was pissed. Wow Illegals in Laguna beach! Ha ha. And across the street is a Lumber yard/ hardward store. So I pull out my phone to take a Picture of these law breakers, and lo and fucking behold was a sign announcing this was a day laborer hiring area! They all started modeling for the camera. I had to go back and get a pic of the sign. So we turned around and when we came back They had either got picked up for a job or they thought we were Paparazzi cause they were all gone. and no kidding you, there sat one caucasian gentleman. The illegals got picked up cause they are cheap labor and the LEGAL still sat there! Well we give them section 8 free housing, free health care, food stamps, and now we require home improvement stores to require shelter. I have got to believe the tax payers paid for this area, as it was not on the property of the Store and it sure looked like a state park sign.i'm going to contact the city of Laguna Beach to find out. But you be the judge.Oh and look at the vandalism on the sign.

manbabies.com

Funniest pictures I've seen around that do not contain nudity (yes i find things a lot funnier when it involves naked people) Gives me a good minute or two of laughs before i go back to the people who piss me off.

my List...

I am really irritable. Surprised? You know what is pissing me off???
My list today.
1-The Damn Media, these assholes work people up into all sorts of frenzies. Reporting on BS like the the swine flu, SARS etc. they get people all worked up talking about global epidemics. What a bunch of D-Bags.
2- People who drive hybrids thinking they are above everyone since they are :saving the planet" Listen dumb ass, Driving your prius isn't going to save the F***** planet!
3-people who use LOL or BRB in a REAL conversation. I don't know if this is out of plain out laziness or are you that much of a ******* idiot?
4- people who live in a country for more than 10 years but can't speak the language. babies can learn in a couple years. My damn dog learns enough to follow simple commands. Why the **** can't you? Don't give me this bullshit about preserving culture. We are not asking that you forget your vietnamese, spanish or whatever hell other language you speak. Just learn a little bit of English! Americans are not much better at this as they are among the worlds laziest ass people!
5-Stupid Bitches that work at Target (yes you know who you are) ya the one who says Did you really want this? When we pointed out that the spray bottle on the cleaner is broken and it is leaking all over the ******* Bag that you also put clothes in. yes we wanted it you ****** Dumb Ass Bitch!
6- Stupid ass people who come to my Blog and read the disclaimer. Agree to it, then send me hate mail on what Bitches Daisy and I are.
7- ignorant people who tell me they are at the Salon getting their hair done after I just told them my ******* hair is falling out from the chemo.
8- The same ignorant people who ask me to send pictures of my hair falling out! Are you that ******* stupid?!
9- people who Read my blogs and don't bother to comment.

DON'T READ MY BLOGS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

Maybe a few of you haters out there forgot to read our little disclaimer. Get over it! If the previous post has offend you in any way shape or form guess what you fall into the lazy parent category or know someone who is and support them in it. Were not sitting on our ass here talking crap about how fat your kids are and how gross it is. NO! we are talking crap about your laziness and excuses for not spending healthy family time with your children. People who abuses there kids get them taking away by the state i mean shouldn't people who cant give there kids a healthy life fall into the same category?inevitable you are contributing to them have childhood diabeties and heart diease. Every time you come home from a long day at work and are sitting in that drive thru at KFC insteaad of cooking a simple dinner you remmeber that this could be your child in a few years.

Continue the hate mail. It fuels me more to talk about how much your existence on this earth is for the pure joy of making fun of you.

You Made your Kid Fat!

I am sure I am going to piss someone off. I already have gotten nasty emails from my other blogs. But, IDGAF! About 31% of children in the USA are overweight or at risk of becoming so, according to the latest government data. Mcdonalds is really fucking these kids up, they are destine for obesity from such an early age. First off I blame the parents. Stop letting your kid watch TV from the minute they get home from school. Make them get up go outside and Play! WOW what a concept. But You parents don't, because it is easier to get them to shut the hell up by sitting them in front of a damn video game or Cartoon Network. Then as they are watching these damn shows Up comes a commercial for M&Ms or Kool-aid. So then they need a snack. Snacks in your house don't consist of Real Juice, Carrots, Fresh fruit. It's cheaper to buy soda and fruit snacks, ice cream sandwiches. Cook a damn healthy meal for your family!! But Nooo it is so much easier to drive thru Mc Donalds. Listen, When your kid has the whole flippin menu memorized time to cut their ass off! and I dont want to hear this BS about it is baby fat. I remember as a child hearing a family member say that about their kid. Bullshit, your kid is fat and you have contributed to this. Then these kids go to school and get bullied and taunted for their weight. Then you take them to mc Donalds to get a shake and some supersize fries cause they had a hard day! Oh and don't get me started how the schools offer all this crap in vending machines, and your lazy ass won't make them a healthy lunch. You give them them damn money to buy this crap! Besides just being fat and how embarrassing that is, your kid is going to have high cholesterol, diabetes and heart disease. So what are you doing still here, get off your ass and go outside and play with your kid!

Look This Guy is walking!!!

You can look Younger!!!

was browsing some weird  ads on one site and clicked a link accidently that lead me to a site called ShopInPrivate.com. Well, being the curious individual that I am, I browsed around the site and thought I had seen everything until I came across this.


Anal Bleaching Cream

It's purpose is to lighten up your exit (which apparently darkens with age) so you can look younger all over.

Buy some today! No point in telling people you're 35 when your backdoor clearly states you're 50!

Cancer sucks, so does my family!

So as some know I was dx with cancer not to long ago. I knew something already was wrong back in October sitting in the ER, feeling like I was dying. The pain was worse than childbirth. But back then they said I was fine, just a cyst. anyways, I've been getting some shit for not telling anyone in my family. Let me give some history here. I have tried to have relationships with members of my family. I have called them when I was in their area and asked to go to lunch. called them just to say hello.  Family members have called me and bitched and moaned about their problems. Not asking how I was doing, then at the end of the conversation said I need to come visit you soon. But never hear from them again. So lets go back 2 years, when I had a brain tumor. I went through hell. During that time my kids could have used a weekend away with some family since I couldn't get my ass out of bed cause I couldnt stand any sunlight. I had migraines something horrible. I was sick as hell. Having black outs. It was pure hell. Not just for me but for my girls. I had 3 people in my family at that time 2 of them who would take me to drs appts, pick my girls from school, etc. They had families of their own, but they took time away from their families because that is what family does! They didnt bitch to me about their problems, they knew mine were greater. I even had a neighbor bring over dinner one night. such a small gesture but it meant a lot! I didnt tell anyone in my family except Daisy about the cancer, why cause she gives a shit! She has ALWAYS cared! When I had my back surgery in the hospital for a month., who was there for my girls DAISY, 18 years old and raising 3 kids. taking them to school, and working at night. you see, so this is why I havent told anyone. They have never cared before, during my back surgery that i was in the hospital for a month, nor during the brain surgery. So why the hell should I tell anyone now. what is the point? I dont want a pity party. What does anyone gain from knowing this information? NOTHING! They have proved in the past that regardless what you are going through, Their problems are far greater than anyone elses. It surprises me to cause My mother was not this way. She was the one making a meal for a neighbor, baking a cake etc. I learned from her what it means to help someone in need.

SEX and TMI...

Sex, Just a little disclaimer. Daisy and I talk about sex a lot. Not sure how much of it will make it on the blog, but we are quite open with each other about our sex lives.Oh and what other people have shared about theres. Well... I have a huge problem with sex. I need it like water. But the sex topic does evoke strong emotions. Whether its great sex, shitty sex, no sex. Well it is taking over my life. So we have an amazing sexual connection. We are one in the same. It is crazy. My problem is I am addicted as he says. yes I would rather have sex than watch TV, yes I would rather have sex than eat. In the beginning, sex for us was probably 15-18 times a week. I got it whenever I needed it. Well guess what? I still need it and I am not getting it enough. I think we need to see a therapist about this cause it is the major cause of any arguments. I want it, he is to tired yadda yadda yadda. he says I want it to much. YES I DO! Now on what he calls a normal week, if someone were to tell me they had it that much I would say be happy sounds like you have a great sex life. But for me it is not enough. I become extrememly irritable and bitchy if it has been more than a day. I am not your average woman I guess. I am every mans dream.. right?
So it had been like 4 days I was pretty much on the verge of a nasty crazy psychotic rage. So the deed got done and it was mind blowing. No pun intended. I hadnt had it so the tension had built up. Now yes it was great. Could I go another 4 days? probably not. He says he wants to keep me happy. Well he knows what keeps me smiling and not popping klonopin, does he give in? No. So he will just have to deal with me being a bitch.

Stupid people are Stupid

Well I honestly believe everyone out there has there hypochondria moments. Whether it be exaggerating a discomfort, or one of those times your symptoms happen to be matched up with a life threatening disease. We all know your fine. Yes, you are dying it is going to happen but don't for a second think that you will glorify your coming of death with some far fetched disease you do not have. Or even that people will sympathize with you and feel sorry for you. If you honestly believed something was wrong you would go to the Dr. Oh wait, you did go to the Dr? Oh?! everything is fine hmm strange... Yes there are those occasions where Dr's make mistakes or they are stupid and are too blind to see what is the problem because like everyone else they are just there to collect a paycheck. But someone needs to put there foot down and tell you that you are full of shit. Nothing is wrong with you, you just like not working! Fuck i mean who really wants to wakeup and go to work when you can be collecting a check from popping pills and drinking all day at home right? SIGN ME UP!! I feel as an advocate of people who make a honest living working it is my duty to tell you all to stop. Go into work tomorrow bright and early Monday morning and when you see that spilled liquid on the floor, SLIP ON IT! or if you see a moving vehicle at your job go ahead slightly step in front of it. Fawk it, everyone else is sitting on there ass collecting checks for injury's on the job that are so not legit why not you?If this doesn't happen to work and your claim is dismissed go out to your local super market and wait until the produce guy waters our yummy leafy greens and slip, make sure this is in a well survelianced area. Why continue working when you can be living up the life! Screw morals

I'm a wackjob!

I haven't slept in 4 days now. So bare with me here, I shouldnt actually blog, or talk to people when A: I havent slept or B: I have been drinking but here goes it.

I met Alex on a Scavenger hunt where one of the tasks was I had to makeout with a stranger. So we exchanged numbers and Yes i WAS intoxicated.
I do believe in Fate and love at first sight. Even if my sight was impared. I was his booty call on July 16th and We have been inseparable ever since. Either the sex was that good or he is an idiot. We have issues, we arent perfect but we do have perfect love.For the first time I feel  like I matter to somebody.
I am passionate, and that makes me a bit high strung, paranoid and a raving lunatic at times. I have issues but they make me who I am! And by societies standards a complete wackjob.
I love red wine, and a filthy martini.
I have this crazy neurotic OCD with numbers and dates. It haunts me, and it pisses other people off.  I like things in order. and No I cannot sit in a restaurant without fixing the sugar packets so they are all the same way. I am a tweaker when it comes to organzing certain things, others are a big cluster**** but it all makes sense to me. So there is a little piece of me.
Oh and thank you Daisy for having your birthday on that day at that perfect time.

I should come with a disclaimer

I feel like i need to clear up a few things about me and what i am all about, let me just sum up myself before people get attached to me through this blog.

*If you know me and expect me not to talk about you, well...... thats going to be a problem

*If you do not have common sense I must advise you to shut your trap around me. There is nothing more aggravating then some one with out it.

*When you are looking for someone to buy into your pathetic problems please don't come to me, I could care less about your delusional problems, some people have real ones.

*I don't dislike you...I DISLIKE EVERYONE!

*When i come over to borrow a cup of milk thats all I am coming for not to hear you gripe for 30 minutes over your incompetent husband I DON'T CARE!!

*If I do not answer my phone after the second time you have called me it is because I don't want to talk to you LEAVE ME ALONE... creeper much?

I'm not a mean person i promise! I know that this may come off as bitchy to some but life is to short to be hiding behind something you are not. What you see is what you get with me.

Can they Make a wig out of your birds nest?

So the time has come, I knew it would. Thought I prepared myself and would be Ok, But yesterday in the shower my hair just started falling out by the handfulls.  So I Had a major meltdown in the shower, I was screaming, Alex came home and was wondering what the hell was going on. I handed him my hair. said Take it. He takes it and says "Do you want to keep it?" "Excuse Me? You kidding me?" Alex: "well cant they make a wig out of it?" Do you see it! Its a big clump of Birds nest!!! Its a Big Wad of nasty overgrown Pubic hair! Wtf is going on in a mans brain? I know he totally meant well, but men are seriously Stupid sometimes. So I go to get my blood drawn , then came to Daisys house. And I go in the bathroom to show her. I take off my hat. and let her see. Audrey who is 3 stood there and said Auntie you can borrow my hats until the Drs are done giving you medicine and your hair grows back. God bless her heart! So it is to the point where I need to just shave it. Maybe have a bottle of wine and go for it, cause it is more emotional to have this happen everyday.

This is a Nasty Son of a Bitch!

The girl i love

The girl i love walks away down a dark street, chased by demons .Helpless he lies awake in bed. Another day wasted with arguing. His love diminshed, his friends lost , the girl who loves him far away.Not a joke, just a mystery. A hesitation and a love is lost, words unspoken not forgotten memories. Just tears of agony.

My 2nd Blog

This isn 't my first blog. it is a revamping of my old one so to speak. Somehow Something happened to my first blog and some idiot then stole my name. unfortunately I had to redo a whole new one. But this one will be better..so pass the word.

Jules

Bikini Wax Anyone

So I am minding my own business last night and I get a IM from a certain someone whom I think should remain anonymous. We will call her Dolly. Dolly decides to inform me that she attempted to wax her Gates Of Heaven. She innocently says to me, " So I tried to give myself a brazillian earlier." Just the thought of it made me cringe. "What in the world would possess you to do it yourself?!"
Dolly: I was just bored.
Me: Bored?! I have been bored all damn night and the thought never occured to me to hear up the wax and lather it all over My Peek a chu and rip it off!!
Dolly: I just wante to try it
Me: are you drunk, high?
Dolly: No just bored

Ok now people try drugs, they try bungee jumping Who in the hell tries to wax themselves!!!!
Now this is not the first time someone i know has tried to do it themselves. For some reason they all decide to share this info with me.
If I were to decide to wax MYSELF it would probably look something like this.
Girls and I go out drinking, come back, drink some more. A conversation gets started and I volunteer to have a UNTRAINED person do it on me.
I actually remember a few years ago going out and celebrating a friends 30th we got her pretty drunk. so drunk that I took her to Diamond and got her in a crotchless cat suit. If you knew who she was you would understand why It is so hilarious.. When we got back to drop off girls to their cars I made her get out in this suit and walk down the street to my car. At this time the movies were letting out and she was totally oblivious to what the hell was going on. It was great! we should have convinced her to let us wax her. Gawd she needed it! Ok got off track there.
So I found this video about waxing. It is great! I love how all the women look so relaxed and happy. Watch the one who says to her friend It will be painless. Oh then there is this guy! reminded me of when my friend Jorge had me wax his back. LOL
http://www.mediabum.com/videos/bikini-waxing.html
FYI please dont wax yourself. Go get it done. If you are going to do it yourself, take a few shots and some percocet.